The State Of The Nation Address

Mama Yoke, Vice President Jimmy Jam, members of the Nation, distinguished stans, and fellow fans:

Our Constitution declares that from time to time, the President shall give to The Nation information about the state of our union. For 44 years, our leaders have fulfilled this duty. They've done so during periods of prosperity and tranquility. And they've done so in the midst of war and depression; at moments of great strife and great struggle. I am here to bring you the 2011 State of the Nation Address.

Two score and four years ago, a fetus came strutting down Katherine’s birth canal. This child was the recreation of Christ, as Christ has stated that he created her in his image. This child would be named Janet Damita Jo Jackson. Little did we know this child would deal with a troubled world in a positive way. She would take us on an escapade to the Promised Land. In 1982, she began creating a book, ten chapters and counting, about the basic instructions before leaving Earth. She used each of these chapters to tell us a story, her story. It gave us an insight to her life, and allowed us to connect with her on a secular and personal level. And it’s not an autobiography, but there are just anecdotes from Janet’s childhood until now. With each album, Janet has taught us something new or we have learned something about her. We have learned she doesn’t like nasty cars or nasty food. She taught us how to spell the word “miss”. We all have a need to feel special. Do her wrong and she’ll get in that ass. Janet is a modern day Socrates. As we look back at the last 28 years of Janet’s career, we stand in awe. Over 100 million albums sold. 34 #1s across different Billboard charts. Sold out world tours. Turned water into wine. Built the careers of the kids who followed. Yes, Janet has done it all. 15 years of stratospheric success. Let’s have a look back and what transpired during those 15 years:

• Emerged as one of the biggest artists of the 80s

• Came out from behind the shadow of the biggest star to ever walk the planet, Michael Jackson

• Had critics place her in the ranks of Michael and Madonna with the release of ONE album

• Released an album that created New Jack Swing

• Co-authored the peace treaty to end Persian Gulf War

• Praised by Michael Jackson, Elton John, Bonnie Raitt, and was admired by Princess Diana of Wales

• Ranked as the second most successful female artist of all time

• Created the template for sex in the music industry

• Had Stevie Wonder call her album the greatest pop album in history

A chip off the old block if I may say so myself. Some artists have been in the industry 10 and 15 years and still have not come close to those achievements. Poor them. The past year or so has been good to us. We got our second greatest hits compilations disc. Janet gave us a stellar performance in Why Did I Get Married Too. And it was great because the golf club scene was very therapeutic and cathartic and you’ll see that in the film. She stole the show on the American Idol season finale. Ended the War in Iraq. Headlined the Essence Music Festival, and starred in her 5^th film, For Colored Who Have Considered Suicide After Seeing Janet’s Harem Pants In The “Nothing” Video. Yes, we all know we did not like those pants. Hell, even Janet wasn’t taking the blame for those pants. I don’t blame her either.

In the passing months, we’ve noticed it is becoming okay to like Janet Jackson again. We are starting to see a lot of bandwagoning. A lot of Michael’s fans jumped on Janet’s bandwagon expecting her to become Michael, or at least live variously through her. After all, Janet is the female Michael Jackson. In fact, they are the same person. However, this wont be the last time we see bandwagoning. Bangwagoning is common in stan land. It occurs when two or more stans who stan for opposing artists, one superior and another inferior, have a subtle disagreement that ultimately escalates into a battle and one stan milks an artist irrelevant to the discussion in an attempt to “win” the battle. For example: when the Justin Bieber stans felt their testes drop, they thought they could try their luck with the Michael stans. When the Mike stans kindly reminded them of their place, the Justin Bieber stans begin referencing The Beatles because Justin’s achievements do not hold a candle to Mike’s. Oddly enough, when stans bandwagon, they know almost nothing about the artist they are milking to win their battles .

It seems that a lot of fans have come back to the Janet land after they jumped shipped around 2004. But it is fine since it’s okay to like Janet again. We are finally coming back to form. Janet is finally getting back to her R&B roots, because that’s where it all started…with the Control album and Rhythm Nation, and even the janet. album. The young kids are referencing her more often now than in the past couple of years. Kids are doing 8 counts Janet did back when she didn’t need a new hip after each tour. It seems like Janet is finally getting some credit for her work, despite the media trying to act like she hasn’t done anything. And people wonder why we are not too happy as a stan group. We’ve dealt with Janet going unnoticed for her impact. The most recent, is rather questionable, to say the least. Whitney Houston, LL Cool J, Justin Timberlake, and Alicia Keys over Janet?

 

Really? That’s what we do now? I enjoy said artists (minus Justin Timberlake, I’m not here for Usher clones), but none of them have come close to releasing an album as important as janet. or even Control. The Control album created the New Jack Swing genre, arguably the most popular genre of music from 1987 – 1995. But who gets the credit? Teddy Riley and Babyface. The album is responsible for the careers of Pebbles, Sharon Bryant, Jody Watley, and most notably Paula Abdul. Their careers were founded on being Janet clones. Labels packaged artists and milked them for the time being. Unfortunately, all of their careers ended September 12, 1989, or shortly thereafter. I won’t even discuss this:

After its inception by Janet, many artists started using headset microphones on tours, and even in their regular performances. But has Janet gotten the credit? No. And other stans wonder why there is spite towards the amount of praise other acts get. Is it out of jealousy? No. For instance, R&B music really came into fruition in the 1980s. The 60s and early 70s were plagued with soul and blues music. In 1974, disco music became the genre for Blacks to move records. It wasn’t until the 1980s that R&B TRULY came into the form we know today. Janet helped to shape and mold this “form”. No act of her caliber was doing R&B and moving units like Janet. Whitney did not start doing heavy R&B until after she got booed at the Soul Train awards. At which point, she got on the New Jack Swing bandwagon, something Janet created with Control, and got praised for it. And we won’t even discuss how Michael’s Dangerous is nothing more than his Rhythm Nation 1814. But the media, nor his fans, would dare state the obvious, for the obvious reason(s). A considerable amount of the reason why acts of today can sell R&B music internationally, and move tens of millions of albums, is because Janet introduced it to them with Control, Rhythm Nation 1814, and janet. Someone had to break the mold. The world didn’t just start liking a genre that was only successful stateside. I challenge you to find an R&B album as successful as Control was prior to 1986. So as loyal stans, it is ridiculous how other acts get credit for things Janet innovated or popularized. This is why many Janet fans and stans may come off as bitter, jealous, whatever. Now, we’re not saying Janet is the creator of the music industry, but her influence and impact has been under the radar for quite some time.

We have to remember 40s is mid age. Janet is in transition from young Janet to menopausal Janet. So don’t be surprised if she starts getting a little snappy in her interviews. As we progress, we seem to regress. Not because of Janet, but because of other stans. Yes, Janet is a legend, an icon, a trendsetter, etc. But for some odd reason, Janet always seems to get looped into comparisons by today’s acts. I have encountered Janet being compared to the likes of Rihanna, Ciara, Beyoncé, Britney, and any other run of mill chick who has put a song in the top ten of the Hot 100. I’m not sure if it’s because Janet can still compete and give the girls a run for their money, or if it's because Janet isn't a second rate diva who can't sustain.

Whatever the case may be, I’m sure there’s an underlying reason. The beauty of pointless stan wars with these stans is that they understand her greatness. From the time Control dropped, it was seen as a fluke, Janet got lucky with a hit album. But when Rhythm Nation 1814 was released, the critics acted like they were guests on a surprise episode of Oprah’s Favorite Things. It only took one album for Janet to get into the ranks of Michael and Madonna. Some acts have upwards of 5 albums, and still have not had any of their albums compared to Michael or Madonna’s. They understand that the only acts who can top Janet are Michael and Madonna. They understand Janet created the template for their careers. They understand their faves are influenced by Janet in one way or another. They understand her impact and influence on the industry is far greater than their half brains can fathom. If being tertiary to Michael and Madonna is an insult, then it’s a very kind one considering that it shows a) Janet can compete with both of them, and b) those are her only peers. It really speaks more to Janet considering the essence that is Michael Jackson and Madonna, arguably the two most popular artists of all time. You can’t touch Janet's discography...or her videography...unless you’re Madonna...or Michael...which means everyone else pales in comparison, right? Don’t you just love the self shade? 

Don’t see a page for Whitney. Don’t see one for Michael. Don’t see one for Mariah. Don’t see one for Madonna.

But that’s neither here nor there.

We just want Janet to be successful again. Every stan wants to see their artist at the top. We want Janet to get the respect she deserves, the credit she deserves, and the success she deserves. It’s not asking much. We have choices. Take the avenue of continuing new music, or going for that Oscar, because unlike others, Janet is actually respected as an actress. And people forget that Janet started out on Good Times. Because acting is Janet’s first passion, it’s what she started out doing. And she’s finally getting back to that. Her acting has definitely improved since the days when Justice threatened to kick your ass if you kicked her cat. Janet is need of roles that will stretch her to where she can display her acting potential. We have to remember, Halle and Whoopi didn’t become Oscar worthy overnight. If Janet chooses to pursue film, we are starting a new phase of her career. It’s a new space. We need that “Control” role. The role that makes Hollywood respect Janet even more as an actress. If Janet chooses to go with music, it’s a very risky move. We all know Janet’s past handful of albums have been quite dismal in sales. The public has been warming back up to her since Discipline, but that is not enough to make Janet succeed. As a woman whose level of fame was, at one point, greater than Michael and Madonna’s, she needs to focus on creating music that is secular. Music that catapulted her to megastar status. Music that taught us to celebrate life, and how to suck a mean cock.

[side note]

Just recently, Janet announced she was going on her biggest world tour ever:

So members of The Nation, when tricking on the corners to pay for your tickets, remember a few simple rules:

1.   Don’t work for free – hoeing backwards has never been profitable

2.   Get paid for all labor performed – tricking is not a volunteer service

3.   Carry your blade with you in your wig at all times – if something pops off, the cops will not help you (for obvious reasons)

4.   Protect yourselves – tricking is short term, STDs are long term. It’s not the win-win

5.   Avoid Durex – their condoms break easily…or so I’ve heard

6.   Trick in groups of two or more – many hands make for light work; lend a hand to help your brother/sister do his/her best

7.   Remember the hot spots – downtown near clubs, corners near corporate offices, check cashing parking lots, etc

8.   Keep away from the drunks – the last thing you want is a date rape charge on your record

9.   Know your customers – if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck…he/she is probably under 18, stay away

10. Know your limits – golden showers and Cleveland steamers are pushing it. Remember, although this is for Janet, you should never compromise your self-respect…unless you want the VIP seats

11. Above all else – remember, this is for Janet.

                                                               

So where are we as a Nation? We’re in a new space. And it’s a happy space. We finally feel like we’re coming into our own. This new space hopefully won’t be between the cracks in JD’s heart or Mariah’s live vocal performances. But a space where Janet feels like she can finally rest, because her corns are starting to hurt her feet. We are looking towards the future, where Janet will be in another new space. The future is looking bright. So remember, ask not what Janhova can do for you, but what you can do for Janhova.