Cut Short

Good day ladies and gents.

I have some terrible news. Shortly before 12 am Eastern Standard Time, the African-American community was set back 15 years. The cause of the set back occurred shortly after the end of the 2009 BET Awards. More than half of the show was an utter mess. It seemed like a cross between the Ms. Ghetto Superstar Pageant off Crenshaw blvd and the Vibe Awards. There were some high points (the commercials), and there were some low points (the show). However the show’s saving grace was none other than Ms. Janet Jackson.


As you may not know the BET Awards was extended an extra hour to accommodate the “Michael Jackson Tribute.” Needless to say, there was no true “tribute.” Janet emerged towards the end of the show looking flawless




Ms Jackson (because I’m nasty) came out unexpectedly to everyone’s surprise and was greeted with a standing ovation, which is what you are supposed to do when the woman who has fed 5000 people with two fishes and five loaves of bread has entered the room. Due to time restraints her speech was cut short. However, I have obtained the statement Janet was to make that she would read from the teleprompter. Do not ask how I got them, just know what I had to do to get them was no simple task. It’s a long story. I will not talk about it now. Anywho, here is what Janet originally submitted to the award’s director. As follows:

“My entire family wanted to be here tonight. But it was just too painful. So they elected me to speak with all of you. And I’m going to keep it very short but I’d just like to say that, to you Michael is an icon. To us, Michael is family. And he will forever live in all of our hearts. On behalf of my family, and myself, thank you for all of your love, thank you for all of your support. We miss him so much. Thank you so much.”

That’s all you saw due to some crafty editing. But if you look closely towards the end, you see the camera angle change. That’s when the end of the second part of her speech. Here is what was edited out:

“And I’d just like to add a couple more things. I’ve been watching the show from the green room and I just have to say, this is a disgrace. This tribute is disgrace to my brother, the black community, and a disgrace to sick cats at the Los Angeles humane society. I’m not sure where to start with this nonsense.

First off let me just address the attire. Back in 1778 when Madonna and I attended award shows, we came dressed appropriately. We’ve got everything from Vogue to the JC Penny catalogue represented here. Ladies, it’s time to put the denim Capri pants and backless knot halter shirts away. You girls kill me with your Macy’s sales rack prom dresses. Gentlemen, Armani and Jordan’s do not mix. Whoever told you formal suits and sneakers was chic lied. You can rent your jewelry, but can’t rent a tux? Please.

I see New Edition opened the show. I must admit that was a rather nice performance. But I’m not sure whose idea it was to dress you all to look like the Quaker man on the oatmeal box. Bless your souls.

Ms. Keri. Please don’t ever do that again. As if my brother’s untimely death is enough for America to bear, you got on stage and did that. My goodness it was like watching 9/11 all over again.

And the same goes for you Ciara. Stick to copying the dance moves I did 20 years ago because singing is clearly not for you. It was like listening to a whale get a vasectomy.

By the way, why did Keke Palmer outsing half of the "singers" in here? Thank you. That was very nice Ms. Palmer.

I’d also like to congratulate Beyoncé for winning the Beyoncé Knowles award, also known as Best R&B Female. That was a great performance, but you lost me. Was that a dress or a parachute? Stop letting your mother make your dresses.

*sighs*

The “hip-hop” performances. Jesus give me strength. Soulja Boy. Well I applaud you for wearing clothes that actually fit. But what in the hell? That performance…were you serious? You sounded like an Alaskan Moose being artificially inseminated and looked like Gumby running around the stage.

Just when I thought the show had hit a low, Drake and Lil’ Wayne, Weezy, I Fuck My Manager For Tracks, whatever you’re going by these days, took the stage. We had officially been set back 15 years at that point. BET couldn’t even censor out the vulgarities without it looking like a silent movie. I don’t want to hear about a woman’s pussy farts, premature ejaculation, or your erectile dysfunction. Save it for your personal care physician.

I’d like to thank Ne-Yo for his rendition of “The Lady In My Life.” You gave me a sense hope that this show could be saved. Sadly my dreams came to an end following Ciara’s performance.

The O’Jay’s tribute is the definition of a tribute. That, ladies and gentlemen is the definition of a tribute, not this nonsense you put on Debra Lee. You see young children, back in their day, they had talent. It’s a shame they gave the best performance of the night. How the hell you let 50 and 60 year old men outperform you is beyond me. Sad. Oh and after Don Cornelius’ speech, I now see why the show was extended by an hour. I think half of us went through menopause before your speech was over.

I applaud all of your efforts, but my black people, this show, as well as the tribute, was an utter mess. Like Diana Ross said, we don’t have to do some of the things we are doing to have longevity in our careers. It is an embarrassment to BET, the legacy Michael has set, and to the struggle of blacks during the Civil Rights Movement. The performances some were good, some shouldn’t have been televised, and some of you should be skinned alive. I won’t name names. We need to get it together. The attire, the way we carry ourselves, the performances, and everything else needs to be stepped up. I’ve seen bloods and crypts uphold higher standards of etiquette.

With that being said, I’d like to than you all for your support, your love, and your time. Michael will forever live in all of our hearts. We miss him very much. However we can not mourn his death, but celebrate his life and his legacy.

Thank you.