I know it’s been some time since the last post, but I’ve been busy. Yes, running with the bulls in Spain, and going door-to-door spreading the gospel of our beloved Janet Jackson on Saturday mornings at 8 a.m. passing out Rhythm Nation pamphlets and “Make Me” advertisements. Yes kids, “Make Me” is now available on iTunes. I’m not the best at keeping people informed about what is going on with Janet. But if you want to know up-to-date information, always check out the Rhythmless Sister City Janet Central. They have all the tea on Ms. Janet.
Anyway, I was sitting in class bored out of my mind reflecting on the week’s events, thinking about the routine things: how much work I could have done yesterday that I didn’t do, how many days until I get my next unemployment check, and Janet. In my attempts to understand why people hate on others, be it Janet, Michael, Beyoncé, Elmer Fud, whoever. So I came to 10 conclusions as to why people take pleasure in hating on Janet:
1. She’s a Jackson.
Janet is the youngest child of 9, not including Joe’s bastard child. But she’s SOMEWHAT part of the family, so I guess we here at the Rhythmless headquarters can support her. She even has her own blog. But anyway, you hate Janet because she’s a Jackson. She is the youngest member of the greatest entertaining family of all time, and the most successful family in music, and music royalty. She’s part of a dynasty that many of your favorite artists strive to emulate, but sadly fail miserably. At one point, every member of the Jackson family was successful. Yes, even LaToya. I know it pains you that your faves can’t be part of the Jackson family, but that’s the way love goes. It’s human nature. Keep trying; the Osmonds couldn’t stop the Jacksons. The Knowles can’t do it. The Debarge’s tried it by marrying one of the loose cannons. Keep dreaming, I know it hurts, but you’ll get over it.
2. She’s a flop.
For quite some time, it has been reported that Janet has sold over 100 million records worldwide. For a solo artist, that’s quite impressive. And to think she didn’t have to piggy back and use a group’s sales figures with her own solo sales to make her sales APPEAR more impressive. There are only a few artists who have sold over 100 million records. Others are just jealous because they know their faves can barely sell their image, let alone an album. Most haters anti-Janet fans like to hate on Janet by using her “flop” albums to define her career. They always talk about the sales Damita Jo, 20 Y.O., Discipline, Janet Jackson, and Dream Street. However they will never talk about those 6 albums between Control and All For You that sold in the excess of 90 million records. I mean, is there really a reason to be concerned about the charts considering this, this, and this? In addition to Billboard calling Janet Chart Royalty. I guess it sucks to be Janet.
3. She’s irrelevant.
What’s a Janet Jackson?
Janet Jackson has become so irrelevant that we here at the Rhythmless head quarters often have to Google her to remember who she is. Somewhere in between Super Bowl 2004 and June 25, 2009, Janet Jackson sunk deeper and deeper into the sea of irrelevance. Ironically, it appears that the kids of the new millennium seem to be incapable of creativity and innovation, and are forced to swagger jack her moves, videos, choreography, etc. I’ve been YouTube and seen such fuckery as this, this, and this. The kids can’t help but to bring her down to their levels to compare. But if we must:
Now I’m no optometrist, but the viewing the video confirms our theory of irrelevance. There’s a lack of originally in today’s music artists. So what’s the best option? Swagger jack the irrelevant artists from yesteryear. In August 2009, it only took two hours for these photos to make it across the web at 2 am in the morning. Who else can send the entertainment world up in a frenzy at that hour? Only the irrelevant artists. August and September was also a very trying time for Janet. I mean, no one knew she was going to perform at the VMAs until someone leaked the info that Janet was opening the show. By Tuesday, everyone had taken the back seat to Janet’s tribute performance. I mean, Sway even had to leave the barber shop from getting his Kunta Kinte dred locks done to do a promo for Janet performance after the news leaked...
Oct 27, 2009
10 Reasons Why You Hate On Janet
Posted by Rhythmless Nation at 7:57 PM 10 comments
Oct 4, 2009
Stanning 101
Posted by Rhythmless Nation at 8:01 AM 11 comments
Sep 15, 2009
Snatched & Split
PS, if you haven't purchased Jay-Z, Whitney Houston, or Trey Songz new albums, please do so. Support our black artists.
Posted by Rhythmless Nation at 7:58 PM 6 comments
Labels: Beyonce, Janet Jackson
Sep 5, 2009
Live From The Red Carpet
Good day.
Another day, another post, another missed 8-count in the world of rhythmless dancers. With award season among us, I had the chance to be an anchor during an award show. Christ-ina Aguilerus of Nazareth was one of my correspondents. I know many of you missed the show because you were out purchasing copies of Whitney’s new album, or were back in the day, or on your way. Whatever the case, I’m sure you missed the show. Anyway, I have the transcripts of the entire show, and I’ve decided to share them with you children.
E! News Anchor: Good evening everyone and welcome to award show season. We are broadcasting live on the red carpet, well near the red carpet [laughs]. We are here to bring you the latest in fashion, fashion train wrecks, and the like. We would have had Joan Rivers here with us, but she is still putting on her face. So we have here today The Voice of Our Generation, Christ-ina Aguilerus of Nazareth. How are you doing this evening?
Christina: I’m doing fine. I‘m out here live on the red carpet going to do interviews with all the wanna be legends and half-talent artists the music industry has produced.
E! News Anchor: [laughs] Well isn’t that grand. By the way Legendtina, what are you wearing?
Christina: Oh this is a hand-stitched Versace gown Donatella gave to me. I can tell you Rihanna couldn’t afford it if she sucked off her producers for the next two weeks. [laughs] Oh and speaking of Rihanna, here she is now. Hello Rihanna how are you?
Rihanna: Hello Legendtina, I’m doing fine. How are you?
Christina: I’m doing fine. So how is your face?
Rihanna: Eh, eh, eh. I’m still recovering.
Christina: Oh well that’s good. What are you doing here? This award show is based on talent.
Rihanna: Well, my manager thinks that this is a great opportunity to turn the red carpet into a runway and take pictures. That’s all I’m good for these days.
Christina: Yes, this is clear. So you now have a restraining order against Mike Tyson Chris Brown correct?
Rihanna: Yes, it’s a court order yes.
Christina: I bet you’re happy about that. [they both laugh]. I think stages and microphones need to place a restraining order against you as well. [laughs]
Rihanna: Umm, okay.
Christina: So you have a new album coming out correct? Are you going to be involved in the song writing?
Rihanna: Not this time. I just sing. I don't have any creative control over my career. I'm just told what to do.
Christina: Well isn't that a shame. Thank you for the interview Rihanna and I’ll see you inside. [smiles]
E! News Anchor: Legendtina, what was she wearing again?
Christina: Oh I don’t think anyone cares. I call it Caveman Couture [they laugh] Oh and speaking of ancient here comes Madonna. [they hug] Madonna, it’s so nice to see you here without your walker.
Madonna: Haha yes I know.
Christina: Oh and how nice of you to bring the kids from the Feed the Children infomercials. Are you still stealing them from African mothers to get street cred so the urban community would your latest flop album?
Madonna: Yes, I was taking the Mariah route and using the black audience to sell records.
Christina: well isn’t that sweet. Are you still charging by the organ for tickets to your show?
Madonna: Actually Legendtina, we’ve upped the ante and are now charging by the birth certificate.
Christina: I don’t understand.
Madonna: For my children.
Christina: Oh yes the children you smuggled illegally into the United States. Well if that isn’t a mother’s love I don’t know what is.
Madonna: Yeah so see, you understand [she laughs]
Christina: Yes [giggles] However, I had my child naturally. I know your birth canal is worn out, and the fetus might fall out of the sac if you move too fast. [laughs]
[they laugh and Madonna walks off]
Christina: Oh and speaking of children we have Mariah Carey. Hello Mariah, how are things going these days?
Mariah: hello dahling, I’m fabulous. It’s a fabulous occasion.
Christina: Yes it is. That’s a nice dress you’re wearing. Where did you get it…Baby Gap?
Mariah: Oh no dahling they didn’t have my size, so I had to go to Babies R’ Us.[giggles] You like the ensemble?
Christina: Well isn’t that lovely. So does your album finally have a release date? I heard it got pushed back to 1932.
Mariah: [laughs] Legendtina, well we’re still working on getting a release date. We’re going to try one more single as well.
Christina: Oh the Ciara method. Nice. Oh and I see you brought your publicist with you this evening.
Mariah: No this is my husband Nick Cannon.
Christina: Who?
Mariah: The guy from Wildin’ Out?
Christina: Umm…
Mariah: The guy who shops at the same place as Max.
Christina: Ooh him. I’ve always wondered why there’s nothing in Max’s size. So Kevin, I mean Nick sorry, how does it feel to be freeloading off someone who is more successful that you?
Nick: Umm, it’s rather nice. I don’t have to do much but walk around with a false sense of accomplishment. Promote my wife’s album, remind America how many #1 singles she has, and the like. It’s a relatively easy job.
Christina: that’s great. So Mariah, you’re performing tonight. Will you actually be singing live?
Mariah: I don’t think so. The last time I sung live, was, well when I could actually still sing.
Christina: 1999?
Mariah: probably the year before that. My career hasn’t been the same since I sung with Whitney at the Oscars.
Christina: Well she is better than you. Anyway, thank you for the interview and I’ll see you on stage.
E! News Reporter: Legendtina, how are you hanging out there?
Christina: I'm doing just fine out here. There's a lot of people coming and I think I see Lady Gaga.
[Lady Gaga walks over]
Christina: hello sir, how are you?
Gaga: I'm doing great. Just great to be here.
Christina: yes, I know this is your first time at an award show. You need a hit album to attend.
Gaga: I see. Legendtina, when was your last hit album?
Christina: It was just before your nose job.
Gaga: the first or second one?
Christina: the second. The first was during your sex change.
Gaga: oh how could I forget.
Christina: indeed. So, Gaga, you're performing tonight.
Gaga: yes I am. I will be wearing the leotard.
Christina: great. Don't forget to tuck in your dick.
Gaga: I will try. Last time it almost slipped out. [laughs]
Christina: well sir, you enjoy yourself tonight okay?
Gaga: will do Legendtina.
E! News Reporter: Legendtina, it looks like all the stars are out tonight.
Christina: Oh yes the celebs are out tonight. And oh my goodness is that a piñata?
E! News Reporter: A piñata?
Christina: Yes it looks like a piñata coming towards me…oh no wait, it’s just Beyoncé. Her mother must be dressing her again.
[Beyoncé walks over]
Christina: hello Bianca, how are you doing this evening?
Beyoncé: I’m doing fine Legendtina, how are you?
Christina: Better than you. So what brings you here today? This isn’t an auction, it’s an awards show.
Beyoncé: I’m here hoping to win an award, maybe two. [she laughs]
Christina: Did your father remember to pay off the committee?
Beyoncé: Yes I believe so.
Christina: I guess that explains all your Grammy awards huh? [she laughs]
Beyoncé: Umm, you could say that. Speaking of Grammys, Legendtina when was the last time you won one?
Christina: I think it was around the time as your last original idea.
Beyoncé: I don’t remember your last Grammy performance again. When was it again?
Christina: Oh remember when we both performed and I drug your performance in the mud, gave the performance of the night, and then you blamed me upstaging you on having the stomach flu?
Beyoncé: Oh 2007.
Christina: yes, yes 2007, the year your father was exploiting you for his own selfish gain. Or as you called it, The Beyoncé Experience.
Beyoncé: Well I love to sing and perform. So I can’t blame him.
Christina: I can see. And since you mentioned singing, I was ranked as Rolling Stone’s 58th greatest singer of all time. What number were you again?
Beyoncé: I don’t think I made the list.
Christina: Well isn’t that a shame. And I see your mother is here as well. Tina how are you this evening?
Tina: I’m doing fine Christina Aguilerus of Nazareth.
Christina: that’s good to hear. Is your tacky clothing line still benefiting from child labor?
Tina: umm, yes I believe so. We’ve moved headquarters to Taiwan and have a separate location in Honduras.
Christina: Well that’s good to hear. And what fashion school did you graduate from again?
Tina: F.I.T.
Christina: Girl, stop fooling yourself. I’ve seen crack whores with a better fashion sense than you. Oh and I see your pimp is here. Matthew Knowles are you doing?
Matthew: I’m doing fine. Does Max need a manager?
Christina: No. My son isn’t even 3 years-old yet.
Matthew: Well you need to start them early. [laughs] Baby Gap is looking for models. Why do you think I had Solange have a child so soon?
Christina: Umm, you all have a nice time inside. [smiles nervously]
E! News Anchor: Wow Legendtina, Matthew was rather aggressive.
Christina: I know. Who allowed him to have children? And speaking of unfit parents, here is Ms. Britney Spears. Britney, long time no see. How are you?
Britney: I’m doing fine Christ-ina.
Christina: That’s good. Did you remember to keep your legs closed when you were getting out of the car this time?
Britney: yes I did.
Christina: Did you drop any of your children on the sidewalk?
Britney: no I put them in the stroller.
Christina: That’s good. I don’t see Child Protective Services in the area. Did you get full custody?
Britney: Yes I did. We pulled a few strings and I got them.
Christina: I guess money does talk.
Britney: So, Christina I haven’t seen you since you’ve been living in my shadow.
Christina: Oh I’m not in your shadow. I’m actually taken seriously as an artist. Remember, I’m the one that actually had talent.
Britney: Oh that’s right. I’m sorry. The only thing I can do is sell albums.
Christina: Well when you don’t have talent what else is there to do? Oh Britney it was great seeing you. I’ll see you inside.
E! News Anchor: Legendtina, we just received word that Janet Jackson is on the red carpet. Can you get an interview with her?
Christina: Actually she’s right here with me now. Ladies, gentlemen…Ciara, we have Ms. Janet Jackson.
Janet: [shy voice] Hello everyone.
Christina: Ms. Jackson, because I’m nasty [laughs], how are you tonight?
Janet: I’m doing fine thank you.
Christina: Where is your little pet that you carry around?
Janet: Jermaine and I broke up.
Christina: I’m so sorry to hear that.
Janet: It’s okay. We just weren’t able to see eye-to-eye on a lot of things. So I felt it was best to part ways.
Christina: Well I wish you the best of luck.
Janet: Thank you Legendtina.
E! News Anchor: Legendtina, we’re going to take a quick commercial break and we will be right back.
Posted by Rhythmless Nation at 6:06 PM 0 comments
Labels: Christina Aguilera
Sep 1, 2009
She Saved All Her Love For Me
Well it’s been a while since the last entry in The Nation, I’ve been busy. Get over it. No real Janet news as of late, but I’ll try to keep you abreast.
Anyway, “The Voice” is back with a new album that is currently in stores today entitled I Look To You, so if haven’t picked up a copy, please do so. I’ve listen to the entire album and I admit that it is a solid effort considering the circumstances. I would be lying to you if I told you her voice was in good shape. Nonetheless, her voice is listenable, and it has improved from what it was last year. It is a bit stronger, and she can carry a tune better. If only she would get with a vocal coach and improve on what voice she has now. However, All Music Guide put it best:
“…Whitney can still sing, knowing when to wring emotion out of a phrase, knowing when not to push for the glory notes that she can no longer hit.”
If her voice was a bit stronger and clearer, I feel as though the songs would have been more pleasant to my ears. There are some classic Whitney moments on the album i.e. her signature belts, emotions, some here and there runs, the crystalline singing voice, among other things. So as stated, I listened to the album, and enjoyed at least half of the tracks, which is a good thing. Of course I enjoyed the opening track, the title track, and a few others, but it is a good album. I was almost tempted to go out and purchase it. However, Janet implants a microscopic chip just behind your cerebellum that only allows you to purchase albums by artists with the last name Jackson.
So as you know I like to visit the boards and see what’s going on with all of my favorite artists. The kids on Janet-Xone and Beyoncé World seem to be enjoying the album. It’s the same story with Christina and a few others. [sighs] But like always there are people who like to hate, just for the sake of hating. The kids are out of their straight jackets and the tasers didn’t come with Energizer batteries. Not only are they trashing the album, but taking shots at Whitney and her career. I see it mainly from the Mariah fans. I’m not sure if this is a continuation of the long-time rivalry between the two singers, but I see it a lot. I don’t see how they can talk about Whitney when Mariah has dumbed down her talents for a hit, her voice is shattered beyond repair, and her album has been pushed back to Ancient Rome. I think Mariah even knows her place is below Godney Allahzabeth Christon:
Now, I think the Whitney fans are aware of the obvious…Whitney did drugs, her voice isn’t the same, her album will not sell millions. That’s common sense. Whatever. However, you have to give her credit for her dedication to music, and to her fans. She could have retired to a beach as she had planned. She could have not made another album until God came knocking on her door. She chose to take the high road. She got rid of the little gremlin, she got through all 12 steps of her recovery program, and she got her life back on track. She even went shopping at the local flea market a got her and little Bobby Christina a pair of matching leopard print knee high snow boots for the winter.
If people would set aside their hate, and actually listen to the album, they just might enjoy it. I’ve heard someone goes as far as saying “she needs to give it up.” Why should she have to give up? So what if it doesn’t sell millions. She’s already sold over 130 million albums. No one told Aretha Franklin to stop making albums because they weren’t selling. Has it occurred that she’s doing this because she loves music, and her fans? So what if her voice isn’t the same. She’s still the greatest female singer to walk this earth. So what if she didn’t write the songs. Whitney didn’t sign up to be a songwriter. She said she wanted to sing. And that is what she does. And just because you write your music, that doesn’t mean it’s good:
My main point is, you have to give credit where credit is due. The woman is trying, and that’s all that matters.
Where ever she appears, she will get a standing ovation
She will still have her awards
She will always be “The Voice”
She will forever be Whitney “The Voice” Houston
Posted by Rhythmless Nation at 9:04 PM 4 comments
Labels: Whitney Houston
Aug 1, 2009
An Analysis of the Beyoncé Hater
Hello all out there in the world of divas and single ladies.
Taking a break from glorifying the life form we know as Ms. Janet Jackson, I wanted to talk about the woman we know as Beyoncé. Given that Beyoncé is all us Janet fans have right now, considering Janet’s absence, I figured I could do a post about her. I dig Beyoncé, she’s not necessarily one of my faves, but I give the girl her credit. With that said, I’ve come across a myriad of haters. They seem to come in drones whenever Beyoncé is doing something. I’ve sat back and analyzed them, and I think I’ve got them down. So here’s my profile analysis of the Beyoncé hater:
Basic Info
Name: Beyoncé hater
DOB: June 24, 2003
Age: fetus – death
Weight: let’s keep it cute
Height: 4’11 – 6’3
Aliases: [irrelevant female artist] fan/stan
Favorite music: anything but Beyoncé including but not limited to Alicia Keys, Brandy, Khia, Mandy Moore, Olivia Newton-John, Madonna, Mary Wells, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, and Anne Murray
Favorite Films: Mama I Just Want To Sing, Coach Carter, Double Platinum
Synopsis
To quote Beyoncéitis in a loose interpretation, “only attractive gay men like Beyoncé. Unattractive gay men prefer other artists.”
Here we have conflicting reports. Black gay men love Beyoncé, attractive ones that is. White gay men like Madonna and think Britney Spears has talent. But for the demographic, we will talk about black men and women, both straight and gay.
The female Beyoncé hater is often unattractive, a platinum plus member of the itty bitty titty committee, and has a bad case of halitosis. She is often seen wearing denim skorts, peep toe Candies, and low grade outré premium yaki. The female hater is often a fan of a female artist who happens to be a Beyoncéitis casualty: Ashanti, Monica, Brandy, Mya, etc. Or perhaps a fan of who they think is “real” artist that makes “real” music such as Jazmine Sullivan, Chrisette Michele, Mary J. Blige, etc. The female hater thinks everything about Beyoncé is fake. Her hair, nails, personality, rib cage, etc.
The male Beyoncé hater is usually a fan of an 80s diva most youth wouldn’t know today such as Stephanie Mills, Patrice Rushen, or Teena Marie. And not even a fan of one of the bad ones like Janet, Whitney, or Sade. The male hater often finds it necessary to compare their 80s diva to Beyoncé whenever Beyoncé has something good going for her. A clear sign of insecurity if you ask me. The male Beyoncé hater is like the female. (S)He is often a fan of another Beyoncéitis victim, in addition to the 80s diva. His hate is more out of jealousy because he secretly desires his favorite artist to see the success Beyoncé is enjoying.
Common Excuses/Scapegoats
Beyoncé wins an award:
“Matthew must’ve paid for it. You know he’s on the Grammy board of voters.”
Beyoncé’s fan base increases:
“Only gays and women like her. They’re the majority.”
Beyoncé’s albums sell:
“Matthew must be buying up those albums.”
A Beyoncé song on the charts:
“LOL! Beyoncé can’t even make it into the Top 50.” [the song makes it into the Top 50] “LOL! Beyoncé can’t even make it into the Top 10.” [the song makes it into the Top 10] “LOL! Beyoncé can’t even make it to #1” [the song makes it to #1] “I wonder how much Matthew is paying the radio stations to play that crap.”
Beyoncé gets songwriting credit:
“She doesn’t write. She steals. She adds the word 'the', and she gets songwriting credit. *eye roll* That’s why Ne-Yo called her out on Irreplaceable.”
The general gist is that Matthew is the driving force behind her career. He buys her awards, participates in payola, and makes all the money. If Matthew did buy her awards, wouldn’t she have almost every award possible? Wouldn’t she have her Oscar and her Tony? Is it her fault the closest their faves will come to the Academy Awards in an online stream from their Acer laptops?
The Beyoncé hater will go to great lengths to find something hate on.
The hate includes, but is not limited to: singing, dancing, performing, wardrobe, hair, make up, knitting skills, DNA make up, skeletal structure, or the way she places the napkins in the glove compartment. They will complain about her eyelashes not being perpendicular to her sternum.
When Beyoncé falls short on something, i.e. not selling out 100%, they’ll use the “I thought she was the #1 diva in this game” line to justify their hate. Speaking of selling out, whenever Beyoncé gets positive reviews, sells out 100%, or sets/breaks a record for selling tickets, the Beyoncé hater will find a way to hate by saying something along the lines of “well she can’t selling out like so-and-so”. *snaps for the kids for the irrelevance*
Speaking of Forbes, (I know no one was talking about Forbes but whatever) the Beyoncé hater is often silent during these times. When the list(s) are released, Beyoncé is usually in the Top 10, but as of late, Top 5. It is here where the Beyoncé hater has to scramble for something hate on. They’ll find House of Deréon’s profits from the last quarter, Google some hate, or bring up something from the past such as the falling down the steps, the Destiny’s Child scandal, or even the fight she and Kelly had over who gets the last Church’s biscuit back in 1995. The first move is they’ll say “she has to do those things to make up for it with her poor album sales.” Usually that doesn’t work because it’s been used before. Next, they’ll say…well after that they don’t really have anything to say. And when all else fails, they’ll compare to her the person who is #1 on Forbes that year (which is usually Oprah).
However the Beyoncé hater does come in handy at times. You can always count on the Beyoncé hater to find out something about Beyoncé of which the fan was unaware. Did you know a Beyoncé hater found Beyoncé’s medical records and noticed she missed a hepatitis shot when she was 4 years old? She also failed to turn in her double-digit math homework back on March 8, 1994. And not only that, she filed her taxes late in 2004. You can depend on the Beyoncé hater to know her every move. He/she keeps up with Beyoncé more than the fans do. If you ever need a 60 second recap of Beyoncé’s life in the past 24 hours, the Beyoncé hater is your go-to guy. ;-)
Whenever their faves release a song, it’s always going to “shut down the game,” and/or “end Beyoncé’s career”. And when the song fails to even make the Amazon.com chart, the Beyoncé hater will also use another artists accomplishments to try and hate. They will milk another artist of relevance to not look stupid whenever their faves fall short.
Example:
Beyoncé hater: this new Adina Howard is about to end Beyoncé’s career.
*some weeks past by*
Beyoncé fan: so what happened to that Adina Howard song?
Beyoncé hater: Matthew paid the radio stations not to play it so “Sweet Dreams” would get all the airplay. Because he’s shady like that. You see what happened with Kelly leaving Music World. But that’s okay, Beyoncé better watch out for Mariah’s “Obsessed”. LOL Beyoncé will never be Mariah.
The purpose of the hate is to somehow belittle the blessings Beyoncé has bestowed upon us. The idea is to not give credit where credit is due. Unfortunately it may take her untimely passing before she gets it. Though some hate has seen little impact, most hate has been rather unsuccessful like Fantasy Ride. Whenever the hate is thick, it manages to backfire and Beyoncé is taken to another level (no passenegers on her plane, by the way). The hate possibly stems from jealousy, resentment, having nothing else to do, and just recreational hating. The projections for the next 10 years are only expected to increase. The House of Deréon projected 50 million haters by the year 2012. However as Beyoncé continues to grow, the numbers will increase drastically. So in closing, going around to different boards and seeing comments on different blogs, it’s almost impossible to get a complete analysis of the Beyoncé hater because the hate comes in various forms
http://hateonbey.blogspot.com/
http://hateonbeyonce.blogspot.com/
http://weallhateonbeyonce.blogspot.com/
http://clutchmagonline.com/lifeculture/feature/top-15-reasons-people-hate-beyonce/#1
Appreciate someone while they're here....
Posted by Rhythmless Nation at 2:46 PM 47 comments
Labels: Beyonce
Jul 18, 2009
Sang It Aretha!
"All I’m askin’, is for a little respect when you come home!"
Aretha sang those words loud and proud over 40 years ago. As a woman, she demanded respect in a male dominated world. Making its way up to #1 on the Hot 100 in the spring of 1967, the song became more than just a hit. It became an anthem; an anthem for women around the world, crossing color lines, backgrounds, and generations.
Here in 2009, we have a black woman. She has crossed and broken barriers unbeknownst to African-American women in her line of work. She has opened the door for artists to fall down steps during performances, lip-synch on live programming, and show off their two left feet. She has accomplished a lot in her 36 years, but has always been an underdog despite her achievements. Yes ladies and gents, we are talking about Janet Jackson.
With the recent passing of our lord and savior, there have been a lot of changes. Retailers are finding trouble keeping “Jackson” products on shelves since June 25th. Album and single sales on iTunes have skyrocketed. Mike has broken and set sales records. As a level headed fanatic of both Michael and Janet, a few question hit me like Ciara hits a high note. Were people purchasing his material because they were fair-weather fans? Did his death cause people to remember how much they loved the Jackson family? Out of respect/support, did people go out and buy their work? Whatever the case, I’m sure Janet and the family is appreciative.
But nonetheless, with Michael now shooting pool with The Lord, I wonder about Janet. Will she finally get the amount of respect she deserves? Will people understand how underrated she is? In recent weeks, I’ve noticed how sympathetic the world has become towards Janet. The media no longer drags her name in the mud as they did prior to June 25th. I haven’t come across any jokes about her on fan boards. As of late, an overwhelming number of people have been citing Janet as one of their favorite artists. It is now acceptable to openly be a fan of Janet. Isn’t it sad how it takes a death for the public to change their opinions of Janet? Janet’s fan page has grown from a few thousand, to over 30,000, and growing by the day. Where was this support when it was needed years ago?
Anyway, more and more people are realizing the force we know as Janet Jackson, and learning how underrated she has been for years. Artists have attempted to emulate her videos, choreography, albums, and image. Yet she remains an underrated act. I sit and listen to Rhythm Nation, and wonder why Janet is not in the Songwriter’s Hall of Fame. I play Velvet Rope and wonder why this album isn’t in the Grammy Hall of Fame. In 2007, how was John Legend inducted into the Songwriter’s Hall of Fame when he hasn’t written a song that has changed the landscape of music like “Nasty” did? And how did Beyoncé win the American Music Award’s International Excellence Award? Did she really deserve that award before someone like a Madonna, Celine, Janet, or even Mariah? The women who were international icons before she even had a high school diploma? Janet, is another underrated vocalist. The consensus that she lacks vocal ability is false. She’s no Aretha but she has a great voice. The anger, rage, and pain of “What About,” the emptiness of “Come Back To Me,” the attitude and vulnerability in “Nasty,” and the legato style of singing in “Where Are You Now,” tells me that she possess a skill. Sometimes a voice is not all about being the most powerful, or hitting the dog whistle notes. Sometimes it is about the emotion evoked in a song, and that is what Janet delivers.
Her albums may not have sold in the 30 millions, but she has crafted four solid albums that have defined mainstream music. Control, upon its release was a testament to not only Janet, but to teens around the world. The album not only speaks to her, but is arguably applicable to the oppression people and cultures around the world. The oppression of blacks, Jews, Iraqis, etc at one point are pleading for respect and control of their destiny. Metaphorically, the chains must come loose, and one must be relinquished of what has oppressed them for years. With Rhythm Nation 1814 and Velvet Rope, Janet spoke universally, and internally. Janet pleaded for unity, the unimportance of racism, the necessity of having an education, and the importance of a relationship as sung in “Alright” and “Lonely.” Velvet Rope was a call for people around the world to manifest their pain. The struggles one suffered, someone else shared. How often do we hear in music a song such as “Free-Xone” where you are told it is okay to be who you are, regardless of what you are? A song such as “You” that urges people to confront their inner issues. She spoke not only esoterically, but also universally. The Janet album brought sexuality to mainstream pop. The album was a sheer display of artistry. In 1993, was it safe for a woman to pose topless on the cover of a highly-recognized magazine? No. Was it safe for a black woman to embrace the full-figured physique and put it on display for the world to see? No. Janet broke barriers. This album is the reason why girls can get up on stage half-naked and toot their behinds up and down the stage. It was Janet who opened that door.
With the albums and songs bestowed onto the world, Janet defined pop music. It is about incorporating themes into your music. It is about challenging what is right, and what is wrong. Pop music is R&B. It is rock. It is dance. It is about questioning what is acceptable. It is about blending genres. It is about having a voice. It is about making people listen. It is about making a change. It is about innovation. It is about breaking barriers. It is about being two steps ahead. That, my friend, is pop music. And Janet is pop music.
This woman had her breast exposed to 90 million viewers. At that point, everything she had done for artists, black artists, and black female artists was completely out the window. None of that mattered anymore. Janet could have pulled a Britney Spears and cried in interviews. She could have begged for sympathy. She could have ended her career. She could have even gotten strung out on drugs. But she didn’t. She stayed strong and did not let the situation faze her. Looking at this picture:
So am I bitter? No. I’m glad to see Janet opened up the door for these artists to do what they do now. Do I believe some artists deserve the awards and accolades they are receiving? No. Do I feel Janet is underrated? Yes. Do I believe Janet has yet to receive the respect she deserves? Yes. However, when the pregnancy rumors fall through, the media has to come up with something new. I’ve read comments saying the new album will be a Velvet Rope Part II. I’m not sure what Janet is cooking up, but I’m sure recent events will find a home on the album. Remember when Janet said she’d be worth the wait…With Michael’s passing, the world has shifted focus to the next Jackson the world knows, Jackie Janet. All eyes seem to be on her. It is kind of a shame that it takes Michael to pass for Janet to finally get the attention she has deserved for the past couple of years.
The songs she released 10, 15, and 20 years ago are still being played on radio today. Janet did not make just hit songs, she made classics. Artists from Ludacris, T-Pain, Plies, and Snoop are all sampling her songs. Arists like Kelly Clarkson, Destiny's Child, Mya are singing her songs. Artists like Ciara, Beyoncé, Chris Brown, Britney Spears, Usher, and many more are recreating her videos, doing her choreography, emulating her style, and using her formulas.
And you wonder, why doesn't she have more awards than she does. You wonder, why her catalogue doesn't sell like her contemporaries. You wonder, why isn't she bigger than she is. You wonder how people can treat her the way they do. And you wonder...
Posted by Rhythmless Nation at 7:21 AM 4 comments
Labels: The truth can set you free
Jun 30, 2009
Cut Short
Good day ladies and gents.
I have some terrible news. Shortly before 12 am Eastern Standard Time, the African-American community was set back 15 years. The cause of the set back occurred shortly after the end of the 2009 BET Awards. More than half of the show was an utter mess. It seemed like a cross between the Ms. Ghetto Superstar Pageant off Crenshaw blvd and the Vibe Awards. There were some high points (the commercials), and there were some low points (the show). However the show’s saving grace was none other than Ms. Janet Jackson.
As you may not know the BET Awards was extended an extra hour to accommodate the “Michael Jackson Tribute.” Needless to say, there was no true “tribute.” Janet emerged towards the end of the show looking flawless
Ms Jackson (because I’m nasty) came out unexpectedly to everyone’s surprise and was greeted with a standing ovation, which is what you are supposed to do when the woman who has fed 5000 people with two fishes and five loaves of bread has entered the room. Due to time restraints her speech was cut short. However, I have obtained the statement Janet was to make that she would read from the teleprompter. Do not ask how I got them, just know what I had to do to get them was no simple task. It’s a long story. I will not talk about it now. Anywho, here is what Janet originally submitted to the award’s director. As follows:
“My entire family wanted to be here tonight. But it was just too painful. So they elected me to speak with all of you. And I’m going to keep it very short but I’d just like to say that, to you Michael is an icon. To us, Michael is family. And he will forever live in all of our hearts. On behalf of my family, and myself, thank you for all of your love, thank you for all of your support. We miss him so much. Thank you so much.”
“And I’d just like to add a couple more things. I’ve been watching the show from the green room and I just have to say, this is a disgrace. This tribute is disgrace to my brother, the black community, and a disgrace to sick cats at the Los Angeles humane society. I’m not sure where to start with this nonsense.
First off let me just address the attire. Back in 1778 when Madonna and I attended award shows, we came dressed appropriately. We’ve got everything from Vogue to the JC Penny catalogue represented here. Ladies, it’s time to put the denim Capri pants and backless knot halter shirts away. You girls kill me with your Macy’s sales rack prom dresses. Gentlemen, Armani and Jordan’s do not mix. Whoever told you formal suits and sneakers was chic lied. You can rent your jewelry, but can’t rent a tux? Please.
I see New Edition opened the show. I must admit that was a rather nice performance. But I’m not sure whose idea it was to dress you all to look like the Quaker man on the oatmeal box. Bless your souls.
Ms. Keri. Please don’t ever do that again. As if my brother’s untimely death is enough for America to bear, you got on stage and did that. My goodness it was like watching 9/11 all over again.
And the same goes for you Ciara. Stick to copying the dance moves I did 20 years ago because singing is clearly not for you. It was like listening to a whale get a vasectomy.
By the way, why did Keke Palmer outsing half of the "singers" in here? Thank you. That was very nice Ms. Palmer.
I’d also like to congratulate Beyoncé for winning the Beyoncé Knowles award, also known as Best R&B Female. That was a great performance, but you lost me. Was that a dress or a parachute? Stop letting your mother make your dresses.
*sighs*
The “hip-hop” performances. Jesus give me strength. Soulja Boy. Well I applaud you for wearing clothes that actually fit. But what in the hell? That performance…were you serious? You sounded like an Alaskan Moose being artificially inseminated and looked like Gumby running around the stage.
Just when I thought the show had hit a low, Drake and Lil’ Wayne, Weezy, I Fuck My Manager For Tracks, whatever you’re going by these days, took the stage. We had officially been set back 15 years at that point. BET couldn’t even censor out the vulgarities without it looking like a silent movie. I don’t want to hear about a woman’s pussy farts, premature ejaculation, or your erectile dysfunction. Save it for your personal care physician.
I’d like to thank Ne-Yo for his rendition of “The Lady In My Life.” You gave me a sense hope that this show could be saved. Sadly my dreams came to an end following Ciara’s performance.
The O’Jay’s tribute is the definition of a tribute. That, ladies and gentlemen is the definition of a tribute, not this nonsense you put on Debra Lee. You see young children, back in their day, they had talent. It’s a shame they gave the best performance of the night. How the hell you let 50 and 60 year old men outperform you is beyond me. Sad. Oh and after Don Cornelius’ speech, I now see why the show was extended by an hour. I think half of us went through menopause before your speech was over.
I applaud all of your efforts, but my black people, this show, as well as the tribute, was an utter mess. Like Diana Ross said, we don’t have to do some of the things we are doing to have longevity in our careers. It is an embarrassment to BET, the legacy Michael has set, and to the struggle of blacks during the Civil Rights Movement. The performances some were good, some shouldn’t have been televised, and some of you should be skinned alive. I won’t name names. We need to get it together. The attire, the way we carry ourselves, the performances, and everything else needs to be stepped up. I’ve seen bloods and crypts uphold higher standards of etiquette.
With that being said, I’d like to than you all for your support, your love, and your time. Michael will forever live in all of our hearts. We miss him very much. However we can not mourn his death, but celebrate his life and his legacy.
Thank you.
Posted by Rhythmless Nation at 4:23 PM 2 comments
Jun 25, 2009
Jun 23, 2009
Round And Round We Go
Good day single ladies and jumpoffs.
Well, as you can see, Rhythmless Nation Inc. is under new management. We went through a corporate restructuring, and now have a new look. If you don’t like it, live with it.
I have some very devastating news to report. Janet Jackson Forum has died. I received word from my internet browser that http://www.janetjacksonforum.net/ was no longer in existence when I tried to access the site. Yes, these are very trying times for JJF regulars. Well there’s Angie’s board. But JJF is like a BMW, while Angie’s board is like a new Kia. Things just won’t be the same. There were so many classic moments on JJF. There were so many things that were revealed during the Angie Winfrey Show. UKbrad and Sweetdream’s epic “influence” on the board. That stupid mistake Mariahisthequeen made. That dumbass account “Janet=flop.” Seanbrodie, NextJJ, and so many others. And most importantly, how many threads I saw pop up every 30 seconds about people not liking “Weekend.” May 1, 2006, the day that will live in JJF infamy. So now we must lay JJF to rest (for the time being):
Funeral services for Janet Jackson Forum will be on July 1, 2009 at the First Street AME Episcopalian Baptist Church. The family will receive friends at 1814 Control Street for the viewing, and at Angie’s board for the reception. Janet Jackson Forum was the official forum during the All For You, Damita Jo, and 20 Y.O. eras for superstar Janet Jackson. Janet news, many fights, and cock shots were transmitted on this board. We have only our memories to remind of this great place. Janet Jackson Forum has gone on to be with the Lord.
Janet Jackson Forum is survived by siblings Janet-Xone, Janet-Love, Janet-Journey, Janet Media, and Janet-Online.
The burial will take place at http://www.archive.org/.
Angie has decided to have an open casket ceremony:
One woman was unable to take the news:
Janet Jackson Forum has gone on to be with the Lord.
Okay, well now that we’ve laid JJF to rest, let’s move on.
Well as guaranteed, we start with who is important, Janet Jackson. There isn’t much going on with Janet this month. I’m sure you’ve seen those pictures of her landing in London:
Yes, she’s looking good. And let’s hope Janet has a new stylist, because we all know Janet’s sense of fashion has never been red carpet couture. And here’s our savior a week later with Prince Azim
Janet, it’s time you act look your age. Lastly, Janet is off to start filming the second installment of Why Did I Get Married?. Thank you to the sound engineer on Twitter keeping the Janet stalkers abreast on Janet’s life.
So on Tuesday Mariah decided to insult American intelligence by releasing this nonsense:
Now, I’m not too sure what he goal was for this song, but Mariah Daily says it was to “diss” if you will, rapper Eminem. Don’t ask. Well Mariah, just be ready for the backlash. He’s going to attack you and rip you a new octave if he chooses to rebuttal. Is he going to talk about that gust of air Mariah calls a voice? Will he address Emanuel Lewis Mariah has for a husband? Is he going to talk about that debacle of a performance at the Inaugural Ball? I don’t know, stay tuned and find out!
In black music history, on June 30, 1975, the legendary Natalie Cole released this classic:
The song topped the R&B chart, and peaked at #6 on the Hot 100. She went on to win Best New Artist at the Grammys, and winning Best R&B Vocal Female successfully ending Aretha’s 8 year streak, and pretty much ending Aretha’s career in the latter half of the 1970s.
Rihanna isn’t really a black artist. However the Slave Trade says she is. So I guess I can give her a little bit of shine. Rihanna’s new song leaked the other day. I guess she’s putting out albums more often than I fill up my tank. You can preview it here. I haven’t listened to the song in full, and probably wont, but I did enjoy the first 30 seconds. That’s all my music tolerance level could take from her. I didn’t like it so I had to put an “X” on it. Now that her face is back in place, she’s ready to testify against Chris Tyson in court. You can check that story out here on Rihanna Daily.
The mother ship has landed:
Yes, ladies and gents, Queen Beysus has arrived with her US leg of her I Am…The Shit World Tour. Rolling Stone is already giving her good reviews which you can read here. Now it’s time for Beyoncé to see if she can match Britney’s gross, which she wont. However she will definitely give the better show. Because come on folks, Britney’s “show” is nothing more than her backup dancers running around the stage. She’s not the ringleader in this spectacle. If you don’t have tickets to see the best performer of this generation, I suggest you get on Ticketmaster and purchase some tickets for your nearest town.
If you didn’t catch TvOne’s documentary on 80s R&B group Shalamar, I urge you to watch it. They were one of the pioneering sounds in R&B during the 80s only rivaled by Atlantic Starr. You may have heard this masterpiece:
So if you haven’t seen it, it’s on Youtube. If not catch it on TvOne.
There isn’t much going on in the rap world. Well I don’t pay attention to rap really. If it’s not 2pac, Snoop, or a few others than I just don’t care. Egotistical maniac Kanye West decided to hop on Beyoncé’s song “Ego.” Why? I don’t know. The song was just fine before he made it cliché. Allegedly, Black Eye Peas member Will.I.Am assaulted media queen Perez Hilton.
I only have one thing to say:
That’ll teach him to run his mouth about Janet and Michael. We don’t play that.
Speaking of our other savior, there have been major developments in the Michael Jackson – Raymone Baine case. Apparently this woman is suing for $44 million, which of course she won’t even get half of what she’s suing for. Suing Michael for money is growing tiresome. It was cute in the late 80s and early 90s, but at this point it’s just overkill. Anyway, as scheduled, his shows will go on for his UK “This Is It” tour. Word is Janet is supposed to be performing as well. At this point, MJ can’t afford to get outshined by his little sis again. We all know the first time it occurred....
Posted by Rhythmless Nation at 3:33 AM 2 comments
Labels: Beyonce, Black music month, Janet Damita Jo Jackon, Legend, Mariah Carey, Michael Jackson, Natalie Cole