I created this blog mainly because school is out for the semester, and I don't have anything constructive to do to occupy my time. I am just spreading the gospel of Janet, and sharing my life experiences under the blessings of the one and only Janet Damita Jo Jackson.
I know it’s been some time since the last post, but I’ve been busy. Yes, running with the bulls in Spain, and going door-to-door spreading the gospel of our beloved Janet Jackson on Saturday mornings at 8 a.m. passing out Rhythm Nation pamphlets and “Make Me” advertisements. Yes kids, “Make Me” is now available on iTunes. I’m not the best at keeping people informed about what is going on with Janet. But if you want to know up-to-date information, always check out the Rhythmless Sister City Janet Central. They have all the tea on Ms. Janet.
Anyway, I was sitting in class bored out of my mind reflecting on the week’s events, thinking about the routine things: how much work I could have done yesterday that I didn’t do, how many days until I get my next unemployment check, and Janet. In my attempts to understand why people hate on others, be it Janet, Michael, Beyoncé, Elmer Fud, whoever. So I came to 10 conclusions as to why people take pleasure in hating on Janet:
1. She’s a Jackson.
Janet is the youngest child of 9, not including Joe’s bastard child. But she’s SOMEWHAT part of the family, so I guess we here at the Rhythmless headquarters can support her. She even has her own blog. But anyway, you hate Janet because she’s a Jackson. She is the youngest member of the greatest entertaining family of all time, and the most successful family in music, and music royalty. She’s part of a dynasty that many of your favorite artists strive to emulate, but sadly fail miserably. At one point, every member of the Jackson family was successful. Yes, even LaToya. I know it pains you that your faves can’t be part of the Jackson family, but that’s the way love goes. It’s human nature. Keep trying; the Osmonds couldn’t stop the Jacksons. The Knowles can’t do it. The Debarge’s tried it by marrying one of the loose cannons. Keep dreaming, I know it hurts, but you’ll get over it.
2. She’s a flop.
For quite some time, it has been reported that Janet has sold over 100 million records worldwide. For a solo artist, that’s quite impressive. And to think she didn’t have to piggy back and use a group’s sales figures with her own solo sales to make her sales APPEAR more impressive. There are only a few artists who have sold over 100 million records. Others are just jealous because they know their faves can barely sell their image, let alone an album. Most haters anti-Janet fans like to hate on Janet by using her “flop” albums to define her career. They always talk about the sales Damita Jo, 20 Y.O., Discipline, Janet Jackson, and Dream Street. However they will never talk about those 6 albums between Control and All For You that sold in the excess of 90 million records. I mean, is there really a reason to be concerned about the charts considering this, this, and this? In addition to Billboard calling Janet Chart Royalty. I guess it sucks to be Janet.
3. She’s irrelevant.
What’s a Janet Jackson?
Janet Jackson has become so irrelevant that we here at the Rhythmless head quarters often have to Google her to remember who she is. Somewhere in between Super Bowl 2004 and June 25, 2009, Janet Jackson sunk deeper and deeper into the sea of irrelevance. Ironically, it appears that the kids of the new millennium seem to be incapable of creativity and innovation, and are forced to swagger jack her moves, videos, choreography, etc. I’ve been YouTube and seen such fuckery as this, this, and this. The kids can’t help but to bring her down to their levels to compare. But if we must:
Now I’m no optometrist, but the viewing the video confirms our theory of irrelevance. There’s a lack of originally in today’s music artists. So what’s the best option? Swagger jack the irrelevant artists from yesteryear. In August 2009, it only took two hours for these photos to make it across the web at 2 am in the morning. Who else can send the entertainment world up in a frenzy at that hour? Only the irrelevant artists. August and September was also a very trying time for Janet. I mean, no one knew she was going to perform at the VMAs until someone leaked the info that Janet was opening the show. By Tuesday, everyone had taken the back seat to Janet’s tribute performance. I mean, Sway even had to leave the barber shop from getting his Kunta Kinte dred locks done to do a promo for Janet performance after the news leaked...
10
comments:
Anonymous
said...
Janet is the Queen of music!!! long live Janet Jackson!
Andre, IDK if I can do a part 2. It would have to top this one. I'm not sure if I can do it. You know how Janet is about not wanting to work with Mike again for the fear of not being able to top "Scream". That's how I'm feeling lmao. But I will definitely think about trying something similar.
I love and I am inspired by your insightful cynicism. I thank God for allowing me to know Janet's music and to see her in action. I know you posted this years ago. But I hope you went to see her this year on her "Up Close and Personal Tour" she is still amazing and put on a great performance.
10 comments:
Janet is the Queen of music!!! long live Janet Jackson!
LOVE THIS!!
A+
I love this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That Mariah clip is hilarious beyond belief! LOLLLLLLLLOL
OMG LOVE THIS MAN. PLZ MAKE A PART 2. SOME PEOPLE NEED TO BE TOLD!!
Andre DeVeaux
http://www.andredeveaux.wordpress.com
Thanx everyone...I try lol.
Andre, IDK if I can do a part 2. It would have to top this one. I'm not sure if I can do it. You know how Janet is about not wanting to work with Mike again for the fear of not being able to top "Scream". That's how I'm feeling lmao. But I will definitely think about trying something similar.
This was great! Telling the truth...but so funny while doing it.
Personally I think she's a gorgeous talented woman!!
I try to remain factual lol. Some people just can't take the truth.
I love and I am inspired by your insightful cynicism. I thank God for allowing me to know Janet's music and to see her in action. I know you posted this years ago. But I hope you went to see her this year on her "Up Close and Personal Tour" she is still amazing and put on a great performance.
Post a Comment